by Darrin Pfannenstiel, J.D., M.Ed. | Attorney and Therapist Specializing in Personal Growth and Relationships | Serving the DFW Metroplex and Texas

saying good-bye to 2023

This time of year always brings a unique energy – streets lit up, people out on the town, and a sense of anticipation in the air for the upcoming New Year. Observing this, I'm reminded of how each year brings not only its own excitement and triumphs, but also its challenges. As 2023 draws to a close — a year of personal and professional challenges and conflicts around the world — we look forward to 2024 with hope and aspiration. In this spirit, I've put together some personal growth hacks to help us embark on this new journey with confidence and clarity.

Understanding and Shaping Your Mindset

Our mindset is the foundation of personal growth. According to renowned psychologist Carol Dweck, author of "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success," embracing a growth mindset is crucial for overcoming challenges and achieving success (Dweck, 2006).

In her book, Dweck introduces the concept of “fixed” and “growth” mindsets, explaining how our beliefs about our abilities shape our approach to challenges and learning. She argues that adopting a growth mindset – the belief that our abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work – is essential for achieving success and overcoming obstacles. This idea has not only revolutionized psychology but also offers practical guidance for personal development.

In my own journey changing careers from attorney to therapist, I realized that my own mindset was focused on risks and obstacles. It was “fixed.” After all, that’s what I had learned to do as an attorney — to find the risks and assess them. But, this wasn’t getting me anywhere. I had to change my mindset from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. I had to realize that if I spent half as much time focused on believing in myself as I did finding reasons for failure, I would empower myself instead of under-cutting my confidence.

Physical Health as a Pillar of Personal Growth

The connection between physical health and personal development is undeniable. Research from Harvard Health Publishing highlights how regular physical activity boosts mood and cognitive function (Harvard Health Publishing, 2023). To seamlessly integrate this into your life, start with small, manageable activities that align with your interests and schedule. To do this, make a list of three (3) physical activities that interest you. They don’t have to be hour-long commitments to be beneficial.

This could be as simple as a daily 10-minute walk, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, letting someone else have that parking spot up-close so you can walk some extra steps, engaging in short at-home workout routines, or even participating in recreational activities like dancing or gardening. The key is to choose activities that you enjoy and can easily incorporate into your routine, ensuring consistency and long-term adherence.

One thing I like to do is leverage technology. Especially in the winter months when it gets darker sooner and I may not have time for the gym or an outdoor walk, I get on my VR headset after dinner and play a game for 30 minutes in my living room that requires me to move.

Emotional Intelligence and Growth

Emotional intelligence is key to understanding ourselves and navigating relationships effectively. Psychologist Daniel Goleman, who popularized the concept, emphasizes its importance in personal and professional settings (Goldman, 1995). During my tenure as a corporate executive, I witnessed firsthand the pivotal role emotional intelligence plays in leadership and team dynamics. I observed that executives who excelled in understanding and managing their own emotions, as well as empathetically navigating those of others, were far more successful in fostering productive, harmonious work environments. This experience solidified my belief that emotional intelligence is not just a soft skill, but a critical component of professional success and workplace harmony.

Enhancing your emotional intelligence can be achieved through a variety of practical steps. Start by actively practicing empathy in daily interactions, listening attentively, and trying to understand things from others' perspectives.

Additionally, a personal practice I've found beneficial is reading fiction. Studies have shown that delving into fictional worlds and characters can indeed boost our emotional understanding and empathy, as it allows us to experience diverse perspectives and emotional journeys (Schmidt, 2020). This simple yet effective habit not only broadens our emotional repertoire but also enriches our ability to connect with others. So, if one of your New Year’s resolutions is to read more books, give a good novel a try!

Taking Action: The Bridge to Real Change

As often attributed to Pablo Picasso, “Action is the foundational key to all success.” This underscores the importance of not just planning, but also implementing our plans to achieve our goals. One of the joys I have as a therapist is watching clients take action to succeed in reaching their goals. These clients tend to be ones that benefit the most from therapy. Specifically, they somehow understand the subtle difference between “feeling better” and “getting better.” While they might attain insights from our time together, they realize that real and lasting change requires more than insight. It takes action.

To translate plans into action, begin by setting clear, achievable goals and devote small increments of time on a consistent basis versus trying to go too big, too soon. For instance, I play classical piano. I learned early on that to tackle a difficult piece, it’s better to practice only 15 - 20 minutes a day versus an hour.

Similarly, I recommend that you do the same with any project or goal you have. Work on it in small increments daily and track your progress. In this way, small steps turn into big achievements.

The Path Forward

Personal growth is a journey, not a destination. As we navigate this path, it's essential to be patient and kind to ourselves. If these tips have resonated with you and you're looking for more personalized guidance, I'm here to help.

As a therapist, I offer tailored therapy and coaching sessions designed to support and empower you in your personal development journey.

To take the next step towards a more fulfilled and balanced life, don't hesitate to request an appointment.

Let's work together to unlock your full potential and make 2024 your year of transformative growth. Have any questions or thoughts about starting therapy or coaching? Feel free to reach out!

References

Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.

Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Bantam Books.

Harvard Health Publishing. (2023, December 7). Protecting against cognitive decline. Harvard Medical School. https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/protecting-against-cognitive-decline (Retrieved, December 10, 2023).

Schmidt, M. (2020, August 28). How Reading Fiction Increases Empathy and Encourages Understanding. Discover Magazine. https://www.discovermagazine.com/mind/how-reading-fiction-increases-empathy-and-encourages-understanding