Mastering the Art of Transforming Habits: Your Guide to a New You
by Darrin Pfannenstiel, J.D., M.Ed. | Attorney and Therapist Specializing in Personal Growth and Relationships | Serving the DFW Metroplex and Texas
Whether you're a fan of New Year's resolutions or not, the desire to make positive changes in our lives is something that resonates with us at any time of the year. The journey to personal growth is an ongoing process, and the topic of transforming habits is relevant to all of us. In this blog post, we'll explore the complexities of habit transformation, discussing why it's often challenging, how to increase the chance of successful change, and offer practical tips to help you embark on making changes you want to see this year in your life.
Why Transforming Habits Is So Difficult
Have you ever wondered why it's so challenging to transform your habits, even when you're determined to do so? The answer lies in the complex interplay of psychology, biology, and environmental factors.
Research in psychology has shown that habits, whether good or bad, become deeply ingrained in our brains. They serve as shortcuts, allowing us to perform routine tasks without much conscious effort. Over time, our brains build neural pathways that reinforce these habits (Wood & Rünger, 2016). Breaking free from these well-worn pathways can be challenging because our brains resist change.
Resistance to change is therefore a natural response. The fear of failure, the comfort of the familiar, and a lack of motivation can all contribute to the difficulty of transforming old habits. As a therapist, I’ve witnessed clients grapple with these barriers, and I struggle with them, too. I understand that overcoming them requires patience and self-compassion.
So, despite all this, how do we wisely go about making meaningful and lasting change?
How to Start Transforming Your Habits
So, where do you begin if you want to transform your habits? The process starts with a few key steps:
Set Clear, Achievable Goals: Define what you want to transform and be specific about your goals. Instead of saying, "I want to exercise more," set a goal like, "I will jog for 20 minutes three times a week." Clarity empowers you to take focused action. When we’re specific like this, we form a clearer mental picture of what we want our end result to look like.
Understand the “Why”: Reflect on why you want to transform a particular habit. Understanding the underlying motivations can strengthen your commitment. For example, if you want to quit smoking, consider how it impacts your health and the people around you. This step provides the fuel for change because you buttress the change with purpose rooted in your values.
Start Small: This one is important. Very important. Breaking a habit into smaller, manageable steps makes the process less overwhelming. But more importantly, gradual change is often more sustainable than trying to make drastic changes all at once. This is especially true when the changes we want to make are biological — like trying to lose weight. We easily become discouraged if we don’t see results as quickly as we think we should. Instead, we have to be patient and work slowly like a musician learning a new piece of music.
Seek Support: Don't hesitate to seek support from a therapist, a friend, or a support group — including an online one. Sharing your goals and progress with others — especially those working toward the same goals as you — can provide accountability and motivation. It can also help you know you’re not alone when you become discouraged or frustrated.
How Long Does It Take to Transform a Habit or form new ones?
The timeline for transforming a habit can vary widely from person to person and depends on various factors, including the complexity of the habit and individual differences. But one thing is clear: The sooner you start a new habit, the more likely you are to stay with it! Instead of saying that you’ll “start next week,” research shows it’s better to start ASAP (Lally et al., 2009).
Here are some general guidelines to keep in mind:
Transforming a Habit: On average, it can take anywhere from 21 to 66 days to transform an old habit and establish a new one (Lally et al., 2009). This is a broad range because habit transformation is highly individualized. Some may find success sooner, while others may require more time.
Forming New Habits: Similar to transforming habits, forming new ones can take around 21 to 66 days, depending on the individual and the complexity of the habit. Consistency and repetition are key factors in habit formation.
Remember that there is no one-size-fits-all answer to how long habit transformation takes. The most important thing is to stay committed and patient throughout the process. Over time, your transformed habits can become ingrained in your daily life.
“One thing is clear when it comes to making change — the sooner you start, the better. You’re more likely to stick with a new habit if you start with one small step right away.”
Some Parting Thoughts
As we embark on a new year, let's embrace the power of transforming habits as a tool for personal growth and transformation. Whether you're aiming to break free from unhealthy habits, adopt positive routines, or achieve personal goals, the journey begins with a single step and the commitment to change.
In this process, remember that you don't have to go it alone. I'm here to offer guidance, support, and a safe space to explore the challenges and triumphs of habit transformation. Together, we can work towards creating a healthier, more fulfilling life.
Thank you for joining me in this exploration of transforming habits. If you found this blog post valuable, consider exploring more articles on my website and subscribe for updates on mental health, personal growth, and ways to transform your life in the coming year. Here's to a year of positive transformation and the realization of your aspirations.
#HabitTransformation #PersonalGrowth #PositiveChange #SelfImprovement #NewYearNewYou #HealthyHabits #IllnessJourney #Mindfulness
References
Lally, P., van Jaarsveld, C. H., Potts, H. W., & Wardle, J. (2009). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998-1009.
Wood, W., & Rünger, D. (2016). Psychology of habit. Annual Review of Psychology, 67, 289-314.
