Breaking the Stigma: 5 Clear Signs It's Time to Seek Therapy

by Darrin Pfannenstiel, J.D., M.Ed., LPC-A | Dallas Counselor and Certified Sex Therapist specializing in Individual and Couples Counseling in the DFW Metroplex and throughout Texas

Life is a journey, one where we traverse both smooth pathways and rugged terrains. Yet, there are phases when the path becomes unclear, overshadowed by towering challenges and dense emotions. When the inner compass that once guided you seems to falter, it might be time to seek a guiding hand.

If you’re experiencing any of these five signs, it’s time to seek professional help from a licensed counselor:

1. Feeling Consistently Overwhelmed:

Imagine waking up every day with a weight on your chest or dreading going to work. The task list seems endless, the responsibilities insurmountable. You might catch yourself staring at a pile of paperwork, or avoiding a project at work — feeling paralyzed. Or perhaps, the thought of social interactions, even with loved ones, leaves you feeling drained before they even begin. This isn't just about having a lot on your plate. It's the sensation that even minor tasks are colossal mountains. If every morning feels like you're bracing for a storm that never seems to pass, it’s time to invite someone into your corner to help navigate through it as it could indicate overwhelming anxiety or even light depression where learning some stress management and coping skills tailored to you by a therapist will help.

2. Disrupted Sleep Patterns:

Lying in bed, watching the ceiling fan spin, thoughts racing at a mile a minute — does this sound familiar? Or maybe, you're sleeping too much, seeking refuge in the dream world because reality feels too bleak. Your body might feel perpetually fatigued, not due to physical exertion but the mental marathon you're running every night. Sleep is a barometer for our mental well-being. If nights are restless or days feel like you're walking through a fog, consider this a beacon, guiding you towards therapeutic shores.

Often, this is the most common presenting concern my clients bring to me. They’re usually in a job or life situation that is causing them stress, and they find themselves ruminating about it even in their sleep. Coming to therapy, right away most report a huge burden lifted off their chest by just talking with me about it and coming up with solutions and understanding how to stop the rumination.

3. Strained Relationships:

Remember the last time you laughed wholeheartedly with a friend or had a meaningful conversation with a family member? If such moments seem distant, and you find yourself snapping at loved ones or isolating to avoid confrontation, take note. You might feel like you're on a different wavelength, struggling to communicate your feelings or understand theirs. Every conversation might seem like a minefield, every comment a potential trigger. Relationships are a mirror to our internal world. When they cloud over, it's a reflection of the storms brewing inside, signaling a need for intervention.

Often when this happens, clients will find themselves having outbursts in their cars while driving. It may not turn into road-rage, in that, they don’t open the window and start screaming at other drivers or get into an altercation. Rather, they report they are highly agitated when driving, and think everyone on the road is an “idiot.” It’s clear in these situations that either they aren’t managing their stress, or they’re feeling out of control in their daily life. But more often than not, something else is going on and it’s coming out in how they interact with people — especially those close to them.

4. Increasing Reliance on Substances:

It starts innocently enough: a drink to wind down after a long day or a sweet treat to lift your spirits. But over time, you might find that one glass turns into several or that you're reaching for comfort foods more often than not. The relief is fleeting, and there's a gnawing emptiness that keeps coming back, driving you towards these temporary escapes. It isn't about the substance, but the void it's attempting to fill. If you're finding solace in a bottle, a pill, or a plate more often, it's a sign that deeper emotional currents are at play, currents that therapy can help navigate.

A common problem I see with clients — especially in Dallas — is that Dallas is a day-drinking culture. While that alone is not problematic, clients often are not certain if their substance use is a problem or not. They typically have an inkling that it might be, and they want to explore it. It’s important for you to know that my job as therapist is not to convince you that you have a problem and then label you as an “alcohol” or “addict” and then hammer at you to go to rehab. Rather, I’m here to simply help you find answers to questions and if you think there’s something you need to do, to help you find resources and support you.

5. Avoidance of Previously Enjoyed Activities:

The paintbrushes are collecting dust. The running shoes are lying unused. The pages of the book you eagerly started remain unturned. Activities that once brought joy now seem like chores. This isn't mere procrastination or being too busy. It's a disconnection from things that once made your heart sing. When joy becomes elusive, and you can't remember the last time you genuinely felt alive, it's a clarion call. A call to rediscover yourself, with the compassionate guidance of therapy.

Often, what I experience with clients is that they are disconnecting from life because of mistaken beliefs about themselves. For some odd reason, a narrative has begun to develop in their lives and about themselves. For instance, some think that s they have gotten older, they no longer matter. So, they cut themselves off from life. For others, this is a classic sign of depression. Yet, for others, they are feeling lonely and desperately want to connect with others, but have social anxiety or are afraid they won’t fit in. My work with them typically resolves this by helping them gain a better understanding of themselves, and by significantly boosting their self-esteem.

The Bottom Line

The reality is this: Life, with its myriad challenges, has a way of making us feel lost at times. And our culture lately has really begun to value never showing weakness or letting them see you sweat. But here’s the problem with that — you put others’ opinions of you above your own — and you suffer in silence.

Recognizing these signs isn't an admission of weakness, but a testament to your strength. It's a realization that, sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is seek help, to regain your joy and sense of direction, and live a happy life again.

About the Author

Darrin Pfannenstiel is an attorney-turned-therapist serving men, women, and couples in the Dallas area at his practice called Eros Counseling —  www.eroscounseling.com.

He has practiced Buddhist meditation and mindfulness for over 25 years — having formerly taught meditation at a Buddhist center when he lived in Austin. He specializes in working with both individuals and couples.

Darrin helps clients gain insights into their inner strengths so they can learn how make their own positive changes in their lives.

He is also a Certified Sex Therapist (CST), and is trained in The Gottman Method for couples counseling.

As a writer, Darrin aims to share practical strategies and insights to help readers improve their mental health and live a fulfilling life.